Month: June 2021

Blank slate

I have nothing to write about today. I have struggled all day to think of something worth saying and well… I’ve come up dry.

I’ve contemplated how we look down on the past and somehow think we are more advanced and smarter. This bothers me, but I haven’t quite figured out how to frame my thoughts on this one. It might pop up before long.

I have to let thoughts ruminated a while. Sometimes I think of a verse first and the thoughts around it form. Other times it’s the opposite. Either way I’m pretty happy with how many thoughts I’ve been able to come up with for this blog. I have surprised myself.

Today I feel tapped out. All out of ideas. Tomorrow will likely be better.

In the garden

Gardening brings me closer to God. There are several reasons that I say this. First, it brings us in direct connection with God’s creation. Second it is contemplative. You have time to think and just rest your mind as you do mundane tasks like weeding. Third, Jesus often used farming and gardening analogies in his parables and teachings.

This is time of year that I find stressful as a gardener. The seeds are planted. I can water and wait. The seeds I planted eventually start to poke their heads above the surface. But in the time they took to do that the weeds have also returned. I watch helplessly as the weeds pop up. I can’t wade into the garden and pick the weeds as I might step on a bud about to pop just below the surface. Or I might root up a tender shoot as I pull out a weed.

This is a time for patience. It isn’t my job to weed right now. I must wait until the plants are more established and ready to harvest. Then I can weed again.

God can’t remove all the weeds from my life, I must live with them and persist in growing and bearing the fruit I was planted to create.

Matthew 13: 29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds,
you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest.
At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles
to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

All good things

I love the Sonata Pathetique, it is likely my favourite piece of music (hard to be definite as there are so many options).

It begins stormy and unpredictable. Sometimes moody, sometimes playful, sometime aggressive. I used to play it. I wasn’t blessed with hands large enough to play it well enough. I like to blame the small size of my hands, not my lack of practice. Most times you can’t get away with it, but with Beethoven you can. His hands must have been huge. I used to say that the greatest satisfaction in life was to play brilliant music badly. I was joking! The biggest satisfaction in life is to listen to wonderful music played brilliantly (not by me – ahem!).

And then the second movement comes. Out of the storm like a shaft of light. There is something in its wistful strains that evokes a sense of longing. Its happy, hopeful and just out of reach. In this second movement Beethoven brings me to a stop. No matter what I am doing I pause mentally and absorb the notes. It is breathtakingly beautiful.

God gave us this! All good things come from God. The work of this man’s hands only point to ultimate beauty, the beauty of God.

When we listen to great pieces of music, we connect with the ‘Father of the heavenly lights.’ That feeling you feel way down inside, that is the spirit of the divine.

James 1: 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the
Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Daniel Barenboim plays Beethoven Sonata No. 8 Op. 13 (Pathetique) – YouTube

Pause and reflect

When I was in University, I heard about a Jewish tradition. I ashamed to say I can’t remember the details (I’ll have to ask the Rabbi who lives across the street about it). But the concept, as my sketchy memory conceives it, is that when you see something beautiful you should stop and thank God for the blessing.

I remember this because at the time I was driving in the back country for work. I was using mostly logging roads and secondary roads that wound through areas most people don’t even know exist, let alone visit.

Driving along beside a marshy-pond, surrounded by trees and just the right angle of the sun and it takes your breath away. I remember pulling over to the shoulder (that’s a generous way to describe it) and wishing I had my camera. Instead, I sat in my car and thanked God for his beautiful world.

There was something so comforting about seeing God’s hand in His world. Life may be awful and cruel, but there is also great beauty and nobility. The presence of this was reassuring to my young mind. If God saw fit to put beautiful fireweed, purple and blazing in the sun, here in the middle of nowhere, then how much must he love me too.

Matthew 6: 28-30 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”

Galvanize your heart

I have a little galvanized steel pitcher. It doesn’t look like other steel. It isn’t shiny or brushed looking. It has little shapes, jagged and erratic and dull. This finish is called “spangle.”

They make galvanized steel through a process of coating the steel in zinc. There are several types methods used. They dip the metal in hot zinc or subject it to electric charges. Regardless of the technique used the dirt, grease and rust must first be removed. The steel must be completely clean. The zinc adheres to the metal and creates the spangle pattern.

What does this zinc coating do for the metal? It protects it from corrosion. It makes it resist rust and the natural degradation to which it would be susceptible.

This is how troubles and struggles work in our own lives. First the dirt and grime of life have to be cleaned off. Then we need to go through a fortifying process, and then we are resistant to corruption and degradation.

How do we do this? Keeping our eyes on God. Reading his word. Doing as he would want us to do.

2 Peter 1: 3-4 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that
through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped
the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

We need each other

We were not meant to be alone. We were built to be in community.

It is not a positive evolution to see the increased isolation happening around us. People need people.

I have a fiercely independent spirit. I want to do things by myself, for myself. I don’t like to depend on others. This is good to a point, but it also has its downside. It can lead to being isolated and alone. It can lead to carrying the weight of the world alone.

The way we live is isolating. We don’t live in family groups. We often don’t even know our neighbours. We create communities online and at work. But what happens when you need someone to babysit? Or you need a cup of flour? Or someone to make you feel seen and heard?

I don’t have the answers for these questions. What I do know is what we are moving toward is the wrong target. We need to reinforce family, not destroy it. We need to build real tangible communities. Of course an online community is good too, but it can’t replace the real life communities that have existed for all human history.

We need to look back into the past for what it can teach us. We have to stop looking down on the past as ideologically wrong and backward; instead look into the past and see the strengths in it.

People need people.

Genesis 2: 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The great comforter

How often have you been disappointed by people. We are a selfish, self centered lot. We care more for our own feelings and ideas than we do the hurts of others. How often have we offered to help only to run away not ready for the commitment required? How often do we misunderstand the hurt and anger in other and feel critical? How often do we desire to help, but in a way that doesn’t inconvenience us?

We all do this. We all fall short. We are flawed.

But Jesus isn’t, he said:

Matthew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Reach out

We have, as a society, suffered great trauma recently. No matter which side of this whole Covid business you espouse, you have suffered trauma. There are people who have listened to the news daily and have lived in fear for almost a year. There are people who have not seen family and loved ones out of respect or fear. There are people who have lost jobs. There are people who have been told they aren’t essential. There are people who have been told they are selfish because they don’t agree with the main narrative. There are people who have lost loved ones to Covid or have fallen ill themselves. There are people who have to wear a mask a work or school. There are others who want their freedoms back.

For the normal every day people there are no winners. None.

What can we do now? People who suffer trauma are no longer using rational as their primary mode of processing. Fear has significant and detrimental effects on our ability to think and plan for the future.

So what do we do?

We go small. Cross the street and talk to your neighbour. Cook with your kids. Watch the neighbor’s child show off how well she can skip. Give a gift to a friend. Drop a meal at the home of an elderly person. MAKE IT PERSONAL. Don’t send a text, or call. GO!

We need faces. We need people. We need community.

Be present in your own life. If each one of us did this, much of the trauma we have suffered would start to heal. You are powerful if you act small. Don’t get caught up in the world’s drama, the wide sweeping events that are too big for you to solve. Go small.

The sounds of my life

In the cool of the evening, I escape the house. The hot, stuffy house. I water the freshly planted seeds. The garden soil is dark, a few stray weeds poking up.

The cool evening breeze delights my soul. It refreshes me. Water from the hose leaks down my hand. I’ll have to get my husband to fix it. A lawn mower hums in the distance.

The birds are chirping and singing, their evening bustle hectic and loud. I hear the traffic in the background. For years I have resented this ever present noise. I’ve imagined it away. But tonight I realize it’s part of the backdrop of my life. This is where I’ve been planted.

Rather than longing to be situated where I think I’d be happy, I should be thankful that I am where God saw fit to put me. My friendly neighbourhood with familiar and beloved faces around me.

I return to the heat of my little old bungalow reluctantly. Inside is the bustle and noise of children getting ready for bed. They are not as noisy as the birds.

I can hear my son in the other room humming Amazing Grace. It feels somehow appropriate to my mood of resignation and acceptance. Amazing Grace indeed!!