Month: January 2022

Better as two

I find it hard to think of the word marriage without thinking of the scene from The Princess Bride, “Mawwiage…”

This is another issue we have complicated with other ideas like patriarchy, power imbalance, sexual freedom etc. We can’t discuss marriage, for fear of offending the non-typical expressions of the institution that exist in our society.

Again this should be far more simple. Maybe it is no more complicated than, life is better when you don’t face it alone.

The morning after my husband had a stroke I returned home, slept for two hours and then got up and tried to organize the job site that he was working at. I then got the kids sorted out and off to school. I looked passed their shattered zombi-like responses and told them sticking to the routine would help. I then answered phone calls from concerned family and friends.

After all that I found myself alone, with no immediate task to face. I was told Wes would be having tests in the morning, so I wasn’t in a rush to get back to the hospital. It was at this point I felt it. It was physical, not just emotional. It was painful. I felt like I had been ripped in half.

I was staring at the reality that I might have to carry on in life without my partner. I would be alone. A wounded half person facing the grimness of life.

Could I have done it if I had to? Yes. But, I’d rather have my partner and helper back. Maybe this is the true power of marriage; the strength of knowing that you have someone completely on your team. The two of you against the world.

I for one am thrilled to still have my other half. I’m happy to have my husband by my side to walk through the trials of life together.

It isn’t good for us to be alone.

Genesis 2: 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Made in God’s image

We as humans have a way of taking a straight forward concept and muddying the water until no one can understand.

The idea of the individual is born in the very inception of the world. God makes man and woman in his image. We are bearers of his likeness. So what does this mean?

This is where the waters get muddy. Many people politicize this issue. One group uses this idea to champion extreme individual rights. Others in seeing the rights of the group as a way of seeing God in others. Individualism vs collectivism. Once we’ve politicized an issue it becomes tribal and deep fissures ensue.

I argue that it goes deeper than politics. It’s fundamental to our understanding of how we manage and shape our own behaviours and actions. This is an intensely personal understanding that we need to digest and accept within our quietest moments.

When I see my neighbour I need to see God’s image bearer, not an atheist, or an African, or a political enemy. Their beliefs and behaviours have to take a back seat. I need to see God in them. I need to treat them in a way that acknowledges the spark of the divine within them. But I am no more responsible for their beliefs and behaviours than they are mine. When I one day meet my maker, I stand alone as do they.

In my marriage I am as concerned for my husband’s eternal soul as I am his earthly happiness. As a result, I do everything in my power to encourage him to follow a path that is Godly. He does the same for me. While I encourage him, I am not responsible for his actions. He is accountable for himself. This alleviates the burden of having to not only direct my own thoughts and behaviours, but of bearing the weight of controlling him. I am free from this. But I can love him and accept his love in return.

There is great freedom in learning to leave the guidance of the minds and hearts of others to God. All I can do is stumble along, doing my best to see his guidance in my own life. I no more want to tell you how to live than I want to be held responsible for your mistakes.

I will however encourage you to look for God. Try find him when you are looking in the mirror.

Genesis 1: 27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Finding our focus

If you live in Calgary you know what the most important thing is during a Chinook – window washer fluid. There is a dance that a driver does during a Chinook, as they rate the splatter on their windshield; when to pump out more of the cleaner and when to wait.

I was doing this the other day. I was trying to decide whether I should spray more cleaner. But I could still see quite well, so I decided that I could manage another block or two. It then struck me how amazing our vision is. Our eyes can focus through all the “static” on the window and see the important objects that lay beyond.

It then dawned on me, this is what we have to do now. We need to look past all the muck and distractions and focus on the important issues. We need to see the reality beyond the splatter so we can navigate our way through the obstacles of life.

I would like to make a case for a short list of issues on which we should train our attention. All three of these are present in the beginning of the scriptures. First – the primacy of the individual. Second – the sacredness of the marriage. Third – the significance of the family.

I would argue that these are the threads that have knit our societies together. These are the foundation stones of a Godly people. Of course, as seen within the framework of God’s plan. Always keeping in mind the wishes God has for his people.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Starting over

I was amazed how quickly my six year old son could wear out a pair of jeans. The knees would go first.

The fabric begins by looking a little worn. Then a small tear would appear in the middle of the knee area. That small tear would soon be a full fledged rip. Sometimes I would patch the rip. Then the other knee would go. Sometimes the hem at the back of the leg would also fray. Depending on how long the pants were. The constant wear of walking, fraying the fabric. Even the back pockets would sometime tear – not sure how this was happening, but it would.

At some point I would look at the jeans and decide there was no point continuing to patch them. They would be tossed in the rag pile and I’d have to go buy a new pair of pants.

This has been happening to our society. We have been experience this wear and tear on the social fabric for years. We’ve acknowledged the problems and patched them where we could. The handling of the Covid crisis was a major and violent rip in the social fabric. This was possible because the threads holding up our society were already shockingly week.

It is time to go back to the beginning to start over. We need to stop trying to figure out how to save this pair of pants and rethink the whole thing. Go back to the beginning. Go back to the Creator, the Word, the Spirit. We need to establish what is most important and begin to elevate that. We need to throw our weight behind our values.

Here is a good place to start. When asked to say which is the greatest commandment, Jesus responded.

Matthew 22: 37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I’m back

I’ve been absent. I’d like to claim that I was super busy. But I wasn’t. I did have some health issues. But they were minor. I have no excuse for why I haven’t been writing.

I was thinking though. A lot. Here is what I realized.

The world needs the Word. More now than ever. We need encouragement and community. We need to refocus on what matters. We need to roll up our sleeves and work at reestablishing relationships. If only there was a guidebook for such a time…

The Word. We have the word. We need study. We need to be bold.

Christians, NOW is the time for which we were born. Speak up NOW. Reach out NOW. Connect NOW.

2 Timothy 4: 1-5 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge:

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.