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Fear of a bad outcome

My son had an issue in Junior High with another boy. He had known this boy since kindergarten, and they had been on again off again friends. The other boy left the school for a couple years and then came back. My son invited him into his friend group and before he knew what was happening this other boy was picking on him. Subtly, but acting in an aggressive and dismissive way.

Through school events and play dates etc., I knew this family, knew this boy’s parents. I didn’t see the situation as strange or mystifying. This young man was feeling awkward and desired the position of well-liked kid that my son occupied. It seemed to me that he was trying to replace my son by pushing him out.

I was walking to school with my son one morning, and he expressed his concern with the escalating bullying. I asked what he feared. He said being hit. I acknowledged this fear and then I explained what I saw as the psychology of the situation. I told him that I didn’t think this boy would hit him. He was acting out of jealousy and therefore needed to be subtle in his behaviour. If he hit my son all those other kids he wanted to be friends with would be angry with him, and he would suffer the social consequences of this act. I also then added, that he would only do it once, cause I know his parents and I’m not afraid of them (my inner mamma bear leaked out).

I suggested that he firmly tell him to back off.

Later he told me that he did what I suggested and that the other boy did indeed back off.

How much of what we do or, even more importantly, don’t do, is based on a feared outcome?

We fear one outcome while sometimes not even being aware of another far worse outcome. I wanted my son to understand that it would be worse for him to continue to be angry and upset at being bullied than it would being hit once. Of course, I wouldn’t have suggested this in another situation where it could have been dangerous. But I knew this family and I felt confident of being able to resolve a solution with the parents if need be.

This story came to my mind when I read this verse last week. We fear men and the powerful and what they can do to us. How often do we fear the creator?

Matthew 10: 28 “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

The great banquet

The old man shuffled his way along the sidewalk. It was now dark and his vision was failing, so he moved slowly and deliberately, afraid of falling. He had gone to sit in the park by the ocean as he did most days. He would feed the sea gulls and watch the waves roll in, and he would think of his wife. They used to walk together on the beach.

The old man stayed longer than usual as the sunset was worth the delay. He watched until the sun was tucked behind the ocean and the glory of its rays had succumbed to the blackness of the night. But this made the return journey to his small apartment rather treacherous.

His route took him past some of the grand old mansions built in the time of the shipping magnets. A tall wall surrounds the largest of these old homes. As he approached he heard clanging of dishes and the bustle of activity. Light streamed from the house as though every room was lit up. A smartly dressed servant was walking up and down the street, carrying a little lantern.

“Someone is having a great party,” mused the old man.

He stopped and smiled and wondered what these folks were celebrating.

He turned back to resume his walk and saw the servant coming to meet him. “What does this fellow want?” he asked himself.

“Sir,” said the servant with an elaborate bow, “My master is having a great banquet, he would like for you to come join him.”

“I don’t even know your master, why would he want me to come?” the old man asked.

“My master has prepared a great feast, and he wants you.” said the servant.

“Does he not have enough invited guests?” the old man asked.

“He did, but they did not arrive, they all cancelled at the last minute.” The servant waved toward the driveway where several white vans were parked as workers unloaded food and supplies. “But the party must go on. My master asked me to welcome you and bring you in.”

The old man stood motionless. He thought about his small, dark, lonely apartment and then looked at the brightly lit home before him.

“I guess I’d be happy to oblige your master,” said the old man.

The servant nodded and then motioned as he led him to the front entrance of the great hall.

As the door opened they were not greeted by another servant but by the master of the house.

The master smiled approvingly at the servant and then extended his hand to his guest. “Welcome to my banquet, Walter, I’m so glad you could join me.” He shook the old man’s hand.

The old man stared and then asked, “How do you know my name?”

The master took Walter by the arm and led him to a seat at the elaborately decorated table. “I see you walk to the sea and back every day. Do you think no one can see you? I have watched you for years. You used to go with Susan, your wife, but for many years now you have made the journey on your own.”

The old man sat down in stunned silence.

The master leaned over and said, “Walter, eat and enjoy the banquet I have prepared.” The master patted him on the back and then returned to the door to welcome any new guests. The old man sat motionless as a tear ran down his cheek.

Luke 14: 16-24 Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet
and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant
to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’
“But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought
a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’ “Another said, ‘I have just
bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’
“Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’
“The servant came back and reported this to his master.
Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant,
‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring
in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’
“‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’
“Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. I tell you, not one of those who were
invited will get a taste of my banquet.'”

Consider the sparrows

I love to watch shows about disasters. One series I recently watched dealt with plane disasters. Grim subject I know, but my interest is in the investigation after. It fascinates me to watch the team as they try to find the problem that caused the accident.

One episode dealt with a plane that burst into flames after landing. They discovered a piece of the wing had dislodged and punctured a gas tank (don’t question my technical knowledge here – cause I know nothing about planes and how they are built). At the end of a long and convoluted investigation they found that a bolt was missing a tiny washer. This washer kept the bolt, which had been designed too small, from falling through and allowing the piece to dislodge.

One seemingly insignificant washer caused an airplane to burst into flames and claim the lives of those who were unable to get off in time.

Sometimes I feel insignificant. I feel as though my voice is a drop in the ocean. I’ve done nothing of interest, nothing of value. This is the way I measure myself when I’m indulging in self-pity.

But maybe I’m that tiny washer. Maybe I can’t see the bigger picture and the part I play. I just need to trust God and trust his plan and believe that he understands and knows what I can’t see. It is enough for me to do my little part and accept that a designer and creator is managing the whole show.

Maybe you are a washer too?

Luke 12: 6-7 “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of
them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

An example of faith

Daniel has been one of my favourite books of the Bible for years. It has all the elements of the great Bible stories, but even more so. For example, Joseph gets framed and falsely accused, and ends up wasting away in jail. But in the book of Daniel jealous elements of the court conspire to frame Daniel, and he gets thrown in a den of lions. No sissy prison for these rulers. Daniel’s friends get thrown in a fiery furnace! These guys ain’t messing around.

To a kid who loved the action of the Old Testament, Daniel is a great book. It combined visual descriptions of dreams and stories with extreme events. As a child this was pure gold!

As an adult, I love the story of the hand writing on the wall. It again is such a visual story. But now I not only react to the imagery but the also to the impact of its meaning. Belshazzar is hosting a banquet and in an act of arrogance he demands to have the spoils from their Jewish conquest, the temple goblets, brought to him. They drink from these and praise their own gods and goddess. It is an act of supremacy over the Jewish people and their God. A hand then appears out of nowhere and writes on the wall. He calls for his wise men to come interpret the writing. They all fail so Daniel is brought in to decipher the meaning.

Daniel 5: 25-30 “This is the inscription that was written: MENE, MENE, TEKEL, PARSIN “Here is what these words mean:
Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.
Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.
Peres: Your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians.”

Then at Belshazzar’s command, Daniel was clothed in purple, a gold chain
was placed around his neck, and he was proclaimed the third highest ruler in
the kingdom. That very night Belshazzar, king of the Babylonians, was slain,
and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom, at the age of sixty-two.

The idea I like most is the idea of an external judgement. The visual representation of a truth that is separate and beyond the powerful. The reality that the ruler by which we are measured is not held by men, or by the authorities of the day.

The events of our world lately have many people on edge. It can be easy to feel helpless and small in the currents of world affairs. And yet, the scriptures offer a different view. We like Daniel can cling to what we believe to be true. We can hold the line as individuals. This may come with hardship and suffering, but we are fighting for the stronger side. We do not need to feel like victims. We serve the All Mighty.

Kings came and went, but Daniel remained faithful. He served God.

Meeting God

Matthew 3: 16 – 17 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water.
At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending
like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said,
“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Sometimes I sit and imagine what God will say to me when I get to heaven. Will I be greeted the way I deserve? Will every transgression be tossed at my feet? Will I have to answer for every sin? This is a terrifying thought.

But this isn’t how I imagine this happening. Why?

Not because I deserve better. Not because I have earned my place. But because Jesus died for me.

When I was baptised into Jesus, I accepted the sacrifice He made for me. I completed my part of the contract of grace. I take on Jesus as a garment. He clothes me. My acceptance of Jesus and the indwelling of his spirit now change me.

When I meet God I expect to hear, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” God will welcome me, recognizing his Son not me and my sinful nature. Jesus the perfect sacrifice will usher me into the halls of the Great I Am.

I would never be in the presence of God because of my own virtue or value. Thankfully, Jesus offers me His hand. He reaches for me and welcomes me. He guides me to the King. It is as a guest of the Christ that I can approach the God of the universe.

I no longer need to try to be more than I am. I don’t need to let my sins demoralize me. I just need to take the hand offered by Jesus and continue with him. I am blessed to be with the One in whom God is well pleased!

Serving God

The counter-intuitive idea of serving God is tied up in the idea of freedom or slavery. We tie ourselves to God and to his teachings. A pile of ‘do this and shan’t do thats.’ It seems to the outsider that Christians chain themselves to a puritanical and demanding master.

Humans are wired to serve. We will serve something.

This is where the ironic bit comes in. If you ask people who have given their lives to God, they will describe the freedom that results from this choice. They speak as sons and daughters not as slaves.

Choosing God allows us to reject other far more demanding and demoralizing task masters; fear, lust, despair are a few. Take fear for example, if you have ever given yourself over to fear, you will know what awful master it truly is. Fear is an enormous black hole that will never be satiated. You will never hit the bottom. There is always more to fear.

God is the only Master who chooses to serve us. We say, “Yes, I’ll serve you God.” He then kicks in and does everything else; salvation, joy, meaning. I have to say we are getting away with an incredible deal! Take this deal! Run with it and don’t look back. Go forward in His love. Leave all the other masters behind.

1 Samuel 12: 24 Be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.

Zach Williams – No Longer Slaves (Live from Harding Prison) – YouTube

Thoughts on artificial intelligence

I love listening to cultural and political issues. I’ll listen to podcasts and video interviews about all sorts of topics. Even topics I know little or nothing about can intersect with the issues I do care about. This intersection is usually at the corner where values and beliefs meet the subject at hand. A great example of this is Artificial Intelligence.

This is the next great technological front. The brightest scientists seem to be putting their energies into this study. I have listened to long, complex and often boring discussions about AI. I have no interest in the technology, except how it may impact my life. This is of course hard to tell until the technologies are fully explored. Having said that, basic AI is already impacting how we get news, what we think, what we buy and how we behave.

I do hear, in these discussions, great hubris and vanity. If you do not believe in God and you believe that humans are the pinnacle of evolution, then the sky’s the limit. But… if you believe that man is a lovingly made expression of a wildly powerful and all-knowing God, then the achievements of mankind are less impressive.

Human exploration and ingenuity is great and God given. But we are foolish if we think we fully understand God’s creation. We are only barely scratching the surface.

I love the story of Babel in the old testament. The people were going to build the greatest building and reach the sky and be like the gods. The work or their minds and hands were to rival that of the Creator.

Genesis 11: 5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building.

Again it’s a question of scale. The humans are building the highest building ever and God has to come ‘down’ to see it. It’s a little throw away line, and yet it says so much.

If this is a topic that is of interest to you, I love what John Lennox has to say about it.

2084: Artificial Intelligence and the Future of Humanity | John C. Lennox – YouTube

Focus on God

The world around us is spinning, wilder and more out of control. It is harder to see the problems as distant. The troubles of the world seep into our homes and everyday lives. How do we keep our own hearts from despair?

There is one option; keep your eyes on God. Focus your gaze upward. Lean into His loving arms. This is the way to keep the problems of the world at bay. The world cannot touch or corrupt what we give to God. They can take our possessions. They can take our lives. But they cannot take our souls. They cannot touch what belongs to God.

The first thing to recognize is that worry and concern are human. God knows our humanity, he understands how hard it is for us to not focus on the turmoils of life. Once we acknowledge our shortcomings and our concerns we then ask what next?

It is a matter of focus. A young teenager wakes up and finds a pimple on his forehead. It is all he can see. He spends the day covering it with his bangs or hat, leaning his hand on his forehead and turning his face away. His is focused on the problem. By the end of the day the blemish is larger and even more noticeable. His whole body and mind is affected by a small blemish that will go away in a couple days.

What if he turned from the mirror, forgot its presence, joked about it, or put the concern where it should go, in a temporary problem category? He’d still have the pimple. It may even still cause embarrassment, but he’d be able to carry on and live his life. His attitude would keep the problem in check.

This may seem a silly example, but this is what we need to try to do. I am not minimizing problems. The problems in life are terrifying and real. We need to remember that we have a home with God. Focusing on this will help us see our struggles as temporary. It’s a question of scale.

John 14: 1-3 Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God;
believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so,
would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take
you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Facing trials

When I was a young woman, a friend told me that something (my memory fails what the subject of the discussion was) would build character. I responded that I thought character was highly over-rated. I was trying to be funny not profound. In doing so I unknowingly hit on something true.

If we could see around the corner at the suffering and the tests that are to come, we would beat a different path around it. In that moment we’d be unable to see what we might learn, how we might grow, we would just see the ugliness before us. Before you walk down an ugly path the obstacle is larger than the gains.

When speaking to other parents of children with serious illnesses or conditions one common view is expressed. Paraphrased as such, “I would undo what my child has suffered but I wouldn’t undue what we have learned.” Few people voluntarily take on a life of hardship. It is rarely a choice. But how we react and what we learn is the by-product.

We are urged to control our attitude in the face of trials. This after all is what we can control. Choosing to find joy in the face of trials is how we can at once acknowledge the ugliness while determining to make some good come out of it.

James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.

Faith and reason

I was listening to a chapter of CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity about Faith (Chapter 11). An interesting chapter full of reflections on human behaviour, sin and how God interacts with us. A short listen. If you are like me, listening is easier than taking the time to sit and hold a book and read. Many of CS Lewis’ writings are on YouTube – so you don’t even need to download an audio book. He is among the authors I enjoy most.

In this chapter Lewis asserts that the tension in believing Christianity is between faith and reason on one side and our imaginations and emotions on the other. This was striking to me.

We live in an age where faith and reason are presented as polar opposites. Religion = faith. Science = reason. Faith is for those who can’t think ideas through and choose to believe. Science is for those that like proof and won’t believe fairy tales.

The past is full of great thinkers who leaned heavily on their faith and their reason. Scientist, artist, theologians all wrote inspired by both.

Hearing this made me realize how far our society has fallen down the slope of anti-Christian rhetoric. The dialogue is no longer, ‘your reason leads you to one conclusion about God and mine leads me to different conclusion.’ Instead, ‘if your reason leads you to believe in God then you are not thinking it through you are not rational, you are motivated by faith.’

This attitude puts the Christian on the back foot, having to not only prove their position but their process as well

I don’t have any answers to this. The best we can do is stay the course and hope that the dialogue improves with time.