Finding purpose – Page 3

Learning from hardship

My firstborn girlie turns fifteen this weekend. Fifteen years ago we were in the midst of a whirlwind of crisis and activity. This little baby was arriving with a half a heart. We were facing the largest hurdle and challenge life had thrown at us. We didn’t know what to expect, and we were anxious and afraid. But calm. There was nothing we could do but hope and hang on.

As I look at this event in the rear view mirror, much of the pain is hidden. I see the outlines, like a city fading into the distance. I don’t see the raw, ugly streets that were traversed. Just the fading emerald city.

Life is like that. We can’t hold onto the pain. It must subside, or we couldn’t manage to keep moving forward. We carry the scars and the lessons of the past, but we move onward. Sometime onto better days, sometimes into other struggles. But we must keep moving.

If we are wise, we let the trauma teach us without embittering our hearts. This is tricky, but essential. If we see our suffering as a lesson that we can share with others, then we are less prone to envy. In this way we can find benefit in the hard fought experience, not just pain. This is how we can avoid bitterness.

Ephesians 4: 31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

God’s wisdom

I matured in the era of the self-help book. I was a young adult, learning and charting my course, surrounded by a culture of instruction. It was everywhere, daytime television, books, classes, businesses… everywhere you ran into a basic formula. Do A,B,C and you will have a happy marriage. Do A,B,C and you will be successful in business. Do A,B,C your children will turn out and be wondeful. Do A,B,C and you will find inner peace.

Even churches did this. They abandoned generations of culture and learning to adopt the new step by step guide to getting to your desired destination. Correct doctrine – check. Appropriate levels of faith – check. Trust God – check. Be as prefect as you can be – check. Attend all the right services – check. Offer the right services in the community – check. Of course not every church was like this, but many were.

I am not suggesting for even a moment, that any of these ideas on their own are bad. It is the concept that we can live our lives by rote, by list, by ticking off all the boxes, that I strongly object to. As a young adult I stressed over every single decision, sure that every move I made would propel me on the right path or would take me off onto the wrong path. This belief was in the air I breathed.

Life is far more complex than that. Wisdom can’t be distilled into a list of dos and donts. No amount of planning can predict the future or prevent the chaos caused by our past. Life is messy. Humans are messy.

The best I can do is build my foundation on belief in God. When I do that I am anchoring myself to the Creator. I am drawing on His wisdom. I lean on His strength and guidance.

1 Corinthians 3: 18-19 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”

Who’s in charge

My kids are getting old enough to make plans. I’m no longer solely in charge of the family schedule and events. It is fun to watch them take ownership over their time and space. They are more involved in what they want to eat, how their room should look, who they play with, and other aspects of their lives. They are moving from childhood into adulthood. They are learning to control their own world.

In the past my children went where I planned, on my schedule. I, like most good parents, planned events that were age appropriate and that I thought they would enjoy. They had complete trust. They had little or no idea what each day would bring, but they trusted me to work it out. Most times they were happy with my choices.

Maybe this is what Jesus meant when he told us to be more like children. I need to wrestle with my own sense of control and give my life over to God. I need to let him schedule my life and chart my course. I should be like my own children used to be, a happy passenger. Humbly letting him lead.

It’s a struggle. But it is a worthy struggle.

Matthew 18: 2-4 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.
And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”

Built for each other

I have been noticeably absent or so a close friend told me the other day. I am sorry for that. Life has intruded. Not in a terrifying way, but in an “it’s too busy to collect my thoughts” kind of way. I am doing well, as is my family.

Having others check-in on us is such a gift. We all have a few people in our lives who keep an eye open for how we are doing and send a note or call when they are concerned. This is God’s work.

Community is hard to build in our crazy technocentric world. But it is so important. We are humans and it has never been good for us to be alone. God looked at Adam and decided he needed companionship and community. This is our foundation. This is one of the most important elements of humanity.

As we start to move our way out of the past years crazy isolation and fear start with community. Make time for each other. It matters.

Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Finding an old acquaintance

Last week I was reminded of the great poet John Donne. My experience of his work was narrow. A few sonnets and poems covered in entry level anthologies. I remember loving his visual imagery and use of metaphors. It was a fleeting introduction. I didn’t study any of his works after that.

I moved on to study other great writers. In fact, I was so unaware that I didn’t know he had a body of sermons and meditations. I was so ignorant that I thought the phrase “for whom the bell tolls,” was a title of a Hemingway novel. That is true, but he got it from somewhere – John Donne.

I was listening to this recording on YouTube. At one point in this reading John Donne makes a comparison. Imagine you own gold or silver bullion but are not able to use it because it’s not shaped in the currency of the lands in which you are traveling. He then suggests that suffering is the same. It’s value does not get paid out in earthly currency. We start to understand its real value as we get closer to our real home.

This is such a stunning metaphor. I guess it goes back to the “storing up our treasures in heaven” idea. But with a twist. I love that our suffering isn’t pointless. This has been one of the biggest myths created by the materialist. We live, we suffer, we die. No purpose to any of it. Nature and evolution march on.

If this is true, then the suffering of man is of the greatest evil. The gazelle in the savanna dies a horrible death at the hands of the pride of lions. But, her death feeds that family and allows them to continue on, there is a purpose. Man is not afforded that if there is no afterlife, no reward for suffering.

Take some time and listen to this, it is worth the time.

John Donne ‎– Sermons And Meditations (1956) Caedmon ‎– TC 1051 – YouTube

Galvanize your heart

I have a little galvanized steel pitcher. It doesn’t look like other steel. It isn’t shiny or brushed looking. It has little shapes, jagged and erratic and dull. This finish is called “spangle.”

They make galvanized steel through a process of coating the steel in zinc. There are several types methods used. They dip the metal in hot zinc or subject it to electric charges. Regardless of the technique used the dirt, grease and rust must first be removed. The steel must be completely clean. The zinc adheres to the metal and creates the spangle pattern.

What does this zinc coating do for the metal? It protects it from corrosion. It makes it resist rust and the natural degradation to which it would be susceptible.

This is how troubles and struggles work in our own lives. First the dirt and grime of life have to be cleaned off. Then we need to go through a fortifying process, and then we are resistant to corruption and degradation.

How do we do this? Keeping our eyes on God. Reading his word. Doing as he would want us to do.

2 Peter 1: 3-4 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that
through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped
the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

The sounds of my life

In the cool of the evening, I escape the house. The hot, stuffy house. I water the freshly planted seeds. The garden soil is dark, a few stray weeds poking up.

The cool evening breeze delights my soul. It refreshes me. Water from the hose leaks down my hand. I’ll have to get my husband to fix it. A lawn mower hums in the distance.

The birds are chirping and singing, their evening bustle hectic and loud. I hear the traffic in the background. For years I have resented this ever present noise. I’ve imagined it away. But tonight I realize it’s part of the backdrop of my life. This is where I’ve been planted.

Rather than longing to be situated where I think I’d be happy, I should be thankful that I am where God saw fit to put me. My friendly neighbourhood with familiar and beloved faces around me.

I return to the heat of my little old bungalow reluctantly. Inside is the bustle and noise of children getting ready for bed. They are not as noisy as the birds.

I can hear my son in the other room humming Amazing Grace. It feels somehow appropriate to my mood of resignation and acceptance. Amazing Grace indeed!!

By grace alone

The little girl sat with her grandfather on the front porch of the old faded house. He rocked in the rocking chair while she sat on the step kicking at the dirt path that led to the house.

Why don’t we have what other people have Grandpa?” she asked. The young girl lived with her Grandparents and had since she was very young.

“Oh, what do you mean by that?” he asked as he rocked back and forth.

“The homes I pass when I walk to school, they are so large and have such beautiful lawns and cars,” she explained.

“Oh, I see,” he said rocking. “Well, when I was a boy I had to use that old outhouse behind the house. God saw fit that we have modern plumbing.”

“I don’t mean that, why does God give them big shiny things, and we just have the ordinary things?” she asked somewhat exasperated.

The old man was silent a long time. The young girl waited her face cast down as she waited for his answer. “I guess that is just the way life is.” She smirked downward not satisfied with the answer.

“Can you see through the door to where your Grandma is working in the kitchen?”‘ the old man asked.

“Yes.”

“What is on the wall behind your Grandma?”

“That old carving your father made,” she answered. “You told me he made it for you as a wedding present.

“Yes,” the old man smiled. “Such a touching gift. It’s my favourite thing in the world, beside you and your Grandma, of course,” chuckled the old man.

“What did my father so carefully carve for me?” he asked.

“Jesus on the cross,” she said.

“Ahhh,” said the old man. “Do you know why that old wooden cross is my greatest possession?”

“Cause your dad gave it to you and he’s dead now,” said the little girl.

“Yes, of course, but more than that.” The old man stopped rocking and put his head back and closed his eyes. “When my father gave it to me, he told me to remember that no matter what gifts and blessings I could gain on earth none of it will compare to the gift Jesus gave us.”

The little girl looked a bit puzzled.

“I may not have treasures here, but I have what I need. God has looked after us, look he brought us you, such a joy for your Grandma and me. But, he has saved the best gift of all. I believe Jesus died for me and all the glories of heaven will be mine one day.”

The little girl nodded. Not able to fully understand, but aware that somehow they were richer here in their little home than many of the people in their enormous mansions were.

The old man smiled as a tear rolled down his face.

James 1: 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position.

Purpose

People are strange, to borrow a phrase from The Doors.

My dog doesn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out what his purpose in life is, or finding the meaning in his world. He’s just a dog. He sleeps, goes on walks, chases birds, eats, poops, demands snuggles and then goes to sleep to wake up and do it all again. He’s always happy to see me. He always barks at other dogs. He never sits down and thinks, why would I greet that lady happily when she left me here all by myself? He never wonders why do I bark at that dog on the street? He just does stuff.

Humans are the ones who wonder. We are the ones that feel connected to something larger. We want motivation and purpose. Any amount of suffering is manageable if we understand the purpose. Pain without purpose is what we find difficult.

My dog doesn’t have a sense of purpose, but does this mean his life is without meaning? No! He has, in his own little way had an impact on our family. We consider him a gift from God.

When Wes was in the hospital, our dog was my constant companion. I took him everywhere, except the hospital. He was a stabilizing force. No human could have been more consistent or compassionate. He had a purpose. He distracted me, drew me outdoors, helped me keep life in perspective. All without talking, giving advice or judging me.

Perhaps, we also have a purpose of which we are unaware. Of course, we can find meaning in our relationships and our adventures. But maybe we have meaning beyond. A purpose that is part of a larger story. A purpose that will be clear one day when we reach the end of the story.