Category: Uncategorized

Keeping a record

My youngest often asks me to rate her and her siblings at various tasks. “Mom, who is the best at doing the dishes?” or “Mom, am I better at this than the other kids?” I think it’s her way of differentiating herself, of finding her own identity as the last in the family. There are things that she is good at doing and I don’t mind praising her when she does something well.

The other night she asked me one of these comparison questions and I replied, “I don’t want to keep score. I don’t want to be compiling a list of things that each of you do well and poorly. I just want to recognize when you do something well and that’s it.”

She understood what I was saying and figured it made sense.

Of course after we had the conversation a scripture came to mind, a small verse, but so on the mark that it rang in my mind.

I Corinthians 13: 5 It [love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

An old memory

Sometimes it is hard to think of things to write. I’ve set a fairly high bar (for me), in trying to write at least 5 times a week. As I said another time, sometimes I fail. Even when I don’t post, I have likely spent quite a while searching for ideas, reading and listening. I also have other pieces I am working on writing, with the eye to maybe publishing one day.

While looking for materials for another writing project I came across this video. The history of our best loved hymns is a fascinating subject. Worth delving into if you like that sort of thing.

Story behind the hymn – Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus – YouTube

Thinking about Jesus

There are three topics of discussion I have bumped into over the last few weeks.
First, concerns about freedom; what it means, what it looks like. Second, the idea of truth. Is truth just subjective or is it something more? Third, who can we believe, who and what can we trust?

These are all huge discussions encompassing many of the contrasting views rampant in our society. My thoughts led me to develop a little Venn diagram.

Power of story

I have been thinking of the “Easter” story and how it has affected my life. I’m not sure I have organized my thoughts yet. I’m not sure it’s possible to organize my thoughts about something so enormous.

This one moment in history changed everything; this moment of Christ on the cross. But not in the way that human events change history! For example a world leader makes this choice and now it sets off a chain reaction and events unfold. These are the world changing events of which history is full.

But… Jesus on the cross is different. It changed the trajectory of the world – yes. It changed how events unfolded and the course of our societies – yes again. But it also changes the direction and course of my life now, of the lives of everyone who interacts with him. His act of sacrifice was not a world changing event, it’s a continuous and on-going world changing event.

God and his work are alive in our world. Seeing his hand and his presence in our own story should be the quest of all who seek him.

I listened to this video this morning and found it incredibly moving.

Andrew Peterson: He Gave Us Stories – YouTube

Seeking a path forward

I’ve had a lot of adjusting to do lately. The night my husband had a stroke everything changed. Our financial situation changed, the dynamic in our family changed, and even my husband’s personality changed.

We joke about it because you may as well laugh when you can. I tell him I feel like I’m living in a bad soap opera and I woke up married to his evil twin. He insists that he’s new and improved! Either way it’s an adjustment.

Every day has been uncertain. A year and a half of putting one foot in front of the other and unable to see where we are going. This has been a struggle. We are doing our best to adapt, but it isn’t easy to say the least.

When I was a child we hiked a lot as a family. There is a particular feeling that comes when you’ve been walking through the bush, only able to see a short way in front and keeping your eye focused on the path and suddenly the trees thin out and you find yourself in an open space. An alpine meadow with vistas that take your breath away. One moment you can only see the tangles of trees and shrubs, the next you are awestruck by the broadness and majesty of the view.

This is where my hope lies. I hope that if I just keep walking at some point the brush will thin out and I’ll have a view that takes my breath away. The reality is this may not come in this life, but whether God reveals his hand to me now or later this is my hope.

The path can be so convoluted and hard to find. Good thing Jesus told us what to do. We don’t need to find the path or our way forward. We need to focus on him. The rest is just noise. I need to keep my eyes fixed on Him and pursue Him.

Matthew 6: 31-33 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Meeting God

Matthew 3: 16 – 17 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water.
At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending
like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said,
“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Sometimes I sit and imagine what God will say to me when I get to heaven. Will I be greeted the way I deserve? Will every transgression be tossed at my feet? Will I have to answer for every sin? This is a terrifying thought.

But this isn’t how I imagine this happening. Why?

Not because I deserve better. Not because I have earned my place. But because Jesus died for me.

When I was baptised into Jesus, I accepted the sacrifice He made for me. I completed my part of the contract of grace. I take on Jesus as a garment. He clothes me. My acceptance of Jesus and the indwelling of his spirit now change me.

When I meet God I expect to hear, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” God will welcome me, recognizing his Son not me and my sinful nature. Jesus the perfect sacrifice will usher me into the halls of the Great I Am.

I would never be in the presence of God because of my own virtue or value. Thankfully, Jesus offers me His hand. He reaches for me and welcomes me. He guides me to the King. It is as a guest of the Christ that I can approach the God of the universe.

I no longer need to try to be more than I am. I don’t need to let my sins demoralize me. I just need to take the hand offered by Jesus and continue with him. I am blessed to be with the One in whom God is well pleased!

Facing trials

When I was a young woman, a friend told me that something (my memory fails what the subject of the discussion was) would build character. I responded that I thought character was highly over-rated. I was trying to be funny not profound. In doing so I unknowingly hit on something true.

If we could see around the corner at the suffering and the tests that are to come, we would beat a different path around it. In that moment we’d be unable to see what we might learn, how we might grow, we would just see the ugliness before us. Before you walk down an ugly path the obstacle is larger than the gains.

When speaking to other parents of children with serious illnesses or conditions one common view is expressed. Paraphrased as such, “I would undo what my child has suffered but I wouldn’t undue what we have learned.” Few people voluntarily take on a life of hardship. It is rarely a choice. But how we react and what we learn is the by-product.

We are urged to control our attitude in the face of trials. This after all is what we can control. Choosing to find joy in the face of trials is how we can at once acknowledge the ugliness while determining to make some good come out of it.

James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.

A line in the sand

How do we grapple with modern Christianity? Voices on every side telling us what it means to be a Christian. What you must believe, who you should support, what cultural idea you should adopt. Its everywhere. Both sides.

We seem to have politicized our faith. This is something that causes me great concern.

Several years ago, we began a very personal road of faith and just couldn’t find a ‘church’ where we could hang our hats. We have many supportive friends, family, and a great community, which we built over that time instead. For us this was a good thing. As a result, our relationship with God has been intensely personal.

I realize this is not the answer for everyone and I would never hold our experience up as an example. But I do believe God protected us from much of the chaos that I see happening in churches today. From the outside it seems many Christians have lost focus and confidence in their beliefs. It looks to me like churches have come under direct assault from the cultural changes.

Like in the Old Testament, in the story of Joshua, the Israelites also had come to a crossroads. Joshua stood before the people and gave his great speech. I can see it my minds eye. A rousing speech reminiscent of the great orators of old. A Winston Churchill “We shall never surrender” sort of speech.

It appears to me that we are at that kind of crossroad as followers of Christ. We are reaching a point where there is a line in the sand, and we need to pick which side we will be on.

Last year I painted a sign and we put it up in our entry way. I want it to be a daily reminder of where we stand. I want my family to remember who we serve!

 Joshua 24: 14-15 “Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River
and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites,
in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Waiting on the Lord

Through my life I have had seasons of waiting. As a young girl I waited for school to end so I could start my adult life. As a young woman I waited for a relationship that would be the start of my family life. As a young mother I waited for my kids to grow and mature. I’ve always had a sense that I’m just a bit out of step with life. I would wait for things to fall in place. Wait for the right job, the right house, the right thing that would make it all make sense.

I then realized that maybe that isn’t what I’m truly waiting on. Maybe I’m waiting on the fulfillment of God’s promises in my life. Maybe what I’m waiting on is beyond the veil, just out of reach?

It’s ok to wait on God. He is faithful. He will meet us and walk with us slowly as we wait. He understands our impatience, our frustration, our confusion. But he also knows what he has planned and like a parent who keeps the secrets of Christmas morning, he also holds his knowledge tight. Until it is time.

So, I wait on Him. One day I will know his plan. For now it is enough to believe in Him and believe He has a plan.

Isaiah 40: 31  But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Lamentations 3: 22-24  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”