Tag: He is faithful

Better as two

I find it hard to think of the word marriage without thinking of the scene from The Princess Bride, “Mawwiage…”

This is another issue we have complicated with other ideas like patriarchy, power imbalance, sexual freedom etc. We can’t discuss marriage, for fear of offending the non-typical expressions of the institution that exist in our society.

Again this should be far more simple. Maybe it is no more complicated than, life is better when you don’t face it alone.

The morning after my husband had a stroke I returned home, slept for two hours and then got up and tried to organize the job site that he was working at. I then got the kids sorted out and off to school. I looked passed their shattered zombi-like responses and told them sticking to the routine would help. I then answered phone calls from concerned family and friends.

After all that I found myself alone, with no immediate task to face. I was told Wes would be having tests in the morning, so I wasn’t in a rush to get back to the hospital. It was at this point I felt it. It was physical, not just emotional. It was painful. I felt like I had been ripped in half.

I was staring at the reality that I might have to carry on in life without my partner. I would be alone. A wounded half person facing the grimness of life.

Could I have done it if I had to? Yes. But, I’d rather have my partner and helper back. Maybe this is the true power of marriage; the strength of knowing that you have someone completely on your team. The two of you against the world.

I for one am thrilled to still have my other half. I’m happy to have my husband by my side to walk through the trials of life together.

It isn’t good for us to be alone.

Genesis 2: 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”

His sheep

I heard an analogy this weekend that was thought-provoking. I was watching a program about people who have left the Amish faith. This particular family did so as they studied the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. They came to the conclusion that the principals of Jesus were more important than the rules of their faith.

A friend came to her and explained that the rules were there as a fence to keep the sheep safe within the confines of the pasture. The fence protected them from the dangerous world. This woman’s response was so beautiful. She said, “If you are with the Shepard and following where he leads, then no harm can befall you.” Or something of that nature – it’s a rough paraphrase.

The hardest thing to do is live by principles. We favour rules and laws. They give us security. We feel less afraid when we have a physical barrier or fence. The problem is that we are limiting our influence. We are limiting our experiences and our knowledge. As scary as it may be to leave the safety of the pasture, if we are following Jesus, then we can do so with confidence.

Read about Jesus. Know about Jesus. Give your life to Jesus and see where he leads.

Fear has no place in our hearts. Is it there? YES. We are human. But we must fight fear. Jesus overcame evil. The biggest battle the world has ever known has already been fought and won. We may struggle and suffer, but Jesus has already paid the price for our sin.

Our Shepard will not lead us astray. He has gone before and fought the fight. We must keep our eyes on him.

1 Peter 2: 21 – 25 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you,
leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to Him who judges justly. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd
and Overseer of your souls.

We learn from our mistakes

My kids all like to cook. When they were younger it was a highly supervised endevour. Now as they get older it requires that I am close at hand but NOT interfering. I listen and interject when I hear statements like, “it calls for a 1/4 cup of salt.” No. Never, in any recipe, except perhaps a brine do you eve use that much salt. Or my son will ask, “What colour is this?” when cooking ground beef (he’s colour-blind).

I told my husband the other day that most times it is still easier and faster to do things myself. But, then they wouldn’t learn. He laughed and said, “Yeah, like me I had to learn how to cook after I left home.” I explained to him that what he did was keep himself alive, it couldn’t be described as cooking. I’m not a very nice wife!

When faced with my daily struggles there are many times that I wish God would just reach down and do it for me. It would be easier for both of us. But then what would I learn?

Psalm 139: 23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Our path in life

We were able to attend a small graduation celebration for my niece and nephew last night. It was a joy to be able to celebrate with them. These two young people, full of youthful promise and expectation. As their Aunt, it made me feel rather old, but mostly nostalgic. These two little bundles entered the world almost 18 years ago and now they stand on the cusp of adulthood.

Almost eight million years ago, I was also in their situation. A young woman looking at the rest of my life. All the plans! All the dreams! I could do anything. I began charting my course. There was a definite idea of where my life would head and how life would go. It makes me smile now, as well, little or none of those plans happened as I expected.

I know this is universal. I know you have felt this way too. Our lives unfold, one step at a time. We do have agency. We do chart our course. The largest decisions we make to go left or right belong to us. But the rocks and bumps in the road are hard to navigate and God guides us through this. He is the good shepherd leading us by calm waters and protecting us through dark vales.

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.

God wins

“The best laid plans of mice and men can still go wrong.” A translation of the famous quote from the poet Bobby Burns. He needed a translator as he didn’t speak English, he was Scottish (I’m joking – wink wink).

I had a visit with a friend yesterday, and she expressed concern about everything going on in our world. If you are paying attention and listening to voices outside of the official televised opinions, it is not hard to feel this way. It seems like we are in the middle of Tolkien’s final battle scene. The forces of evil are being marshaled against the good. The battle is beginning and those on the side of right haven’t pulled their team together. It’s terrifying really.

But then we have the story of Esther. The simply written, beautiful story of Esther. A woman who found herself in a position of great influence, “for such a time as this.” Esther’s bravery and intelligence are of course at the heart of this story. But as you read this book it isn’t really about Esther. She is an instrument. The real conflict is between Mordecai and Haman.

Haman has all the official power. He has all the clout. A large gallows is erected at his command. His plan is ready and all he has to do is bring the pieces together. Haman is confident in his ability to see his plan through. He plans the demise of Mordecai and all his relatives. But he is unaware of all the connections behind the scenes. He doesn’t realize Esther’s connection to Mordecai.

No human has access to all knowledge. No one person can see all the inputs that can affect a situation. We have an illusion of control, but in reality it can slip through our fingers without warning. Haman ends up being hanged by his own gallows.

The Jewish people still celebrate this great turn of events. A constant reminder through the generations that those who go against God and his people will come to ruin.

Remember when it feels like we are up against it, there is One who does see all and know all. There is One who cares that good wins. God wins!

Esther 9: 28 These days should be remembered and observed in every generation
by every family, and in every province and in every city. And these days of Purim
should never fail to be celebrated by the Jews—nor should the memory of
these days die out among their descendants.

A moment in time

I was driving around today trying to match a piece of kitchen tile. My travels took me east. I found myself driving down a road I used to travel often. I now have little reason to drive that direction. The road was so familiar and the route so pleasant in its memories that I felt sad.

I felt the loss of the past. The loss of happier times. Time and distance remove much of the bluster and fuss that comes with daily life. We look at the past as someone looking through a telescope. It’s way over there, confined to the view of the lens. It’s beautiful and free of close up grit of life. The past is far enough away that you can’t see the dust lingering on the lamp shade.

I felt sad. I forgot the stress of the time and remember the joy. Like the Israelite people who moaned to Moses, “They said to Moses, ‘Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?'” (Exodus 14: 11)

They all knew that their lives were bad in Egypt, but their current situation seemed so absent of hope that the present felt worse. In the same way I longed for the past as I drove over the smooth wide road. But we can’t go back. Even if we could, it wouldn’t be what we remember. So we carry on.

We move forward putting our trust in God and having faith that he is leading us to the promised land.

Faith in His plan

Hebrews 11:1  Now faith is confidence in what we hope
for and assurance about what we do not see.

The eleventh chapter of Hebrews starts with this striking statement. A definition of faith. We talk about faith, we try to increase our faith, but how often do we contemplate what faith is?

What is faith? Faith is confidence! Confidence in our hope. Confidence in our assurance. Confidence in what we cannot see.

Does this sound like a wish? Often the term faith is used to mean our wishes. We have faith that everything will work out in some sort of general way. “Just have faith and it will all work out,” type of sentiment.

When Bronwyn was a baby, almost exactly six months old, we took her back to Edmonton to have her second of three open-heart surgeries. We had grown attached to our sweet baby, and we returned to the hospital with dread. We waited anxiously for the surgery, jiggling our sweet girl, who was hungry and thirsty. The anesthesiologist came to speak to us. This was the moment where I had to hand over my precious baby to a total stranger. It seemed an impossible thing to do. Later I described this feeling like walking off a cliff and hoping God would catch us.

Did I wish for a successful surgery? Yes. Did I wish that the doctors would do their best? No. I didn’t wish this, I was confident in it. We had enough experience at this hospital to be confident in their work and their efforts. I was confident that we were in good hands. I was confident that God would watch over them, even if I wasn’t sure of the result.

That to me is a good explanation of Faith. My faith isn’t confidence in the outcome. My faith is confidence in that which I hope for, and that which I cannot see. I had the assurance that the doctors would do everything in their power to see a positive outcome. I had faith in the people not the outcome.

In the same way I have faith in God not in the results. I have faith in His plan. I have hope in Him.

God is faithful

It has been a long season of wandering for our family. Long before Wes’ stroke we were struggling with finding a direction. Wes’ work was stressful and sporadic. I was trying to find a way in which I could help support him and help our family.

We thought we had landed on a plan. We moved forward and were excited. Then one-week later Wes had a stroke. It was the start of a chaotic time. Painful and confusing. We got through it and were excited to see what was next… Nothing. Nothing was next.

Waiting.

I struggled emotionally. I wanted to see a plan. I wanted to feel like God had not abandoned us. I was begging God for a rest. I was tired!

Yet, through this time, over and over again, God showed his faithfulness. He provided for us. He comforted us. He answered my prayer by showing us His hand of mercy. I came to think of this as a season of waiting, of preparation. A season in the wilderness.

I thought of the Israelites and their journey in the desert. God was preparing them. God protected them during this time, but he didn’t shelter them. He allowed them to grow under his watchful eye.

I am not sure our season of wandering is over yet, but I am calmer about what it means for me and my family. God has been faithful.