When I was a young woman, a friend told me that something (my memory fails what the subject of the discussion was) would build character. I responded that I thought character was highly over-rated. I was trying to be funny not profound. In doing so I unknowingly hit on something true.
If we could see around the corner at the suffering and the tests that are to come, we would beat a different path around it. In that moment we’d be unable to see what we might learn, how we might grow, we would just see the ugliness before us. Before you walk down an ugly path the obstacle is larger than the gains.
When speaking to other parents of children with serious illnesses or conditions one common view is expressed. Paraphrased as such, “I would undo what my child has suffered but I wouldn’t undue what we have learned.” Few people voluntarily take on a life of hardship. It is rarely a choice. But how we react and what we learn is the by-product.
We are urged to control our attitude in the face of trials. This after all is what we can control. Choosing to find joy in the face of trials is how we can at once acknowledge the ugliness while determining to make some good come out of it.
James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.
Roberta Writes 